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Today I rewatched an old favorite film; "Withnail & I".
It is the gayest film that ever claimed to be straight.
Everything about the relationship between Withnail and "I" (played by the young, lovely Paul McGann), is reflective of a relationship between lovers. Except of course, it isn't, and they aren't. At least, not actually sleeping together. Or well, they do sleep together, but they don't have sex.
I watch the film as a drama, the story of "I", loving and leaving the alcoholic Withnail. And Withnail, hopelessly in love with a man who claims vehemently that he is "not a homosexual" in spite of the intense nature of their connection.
Others apparently think of it as a comedy.
Tomato, tomahto.
Elsewhere in the news, I am having a terrific internal battle over the youngest sdb. Not a fan, not a fan. Hate the parking lot. Refusing to be sucked in. Unless you promise to use your ill-gotten gains to make JC a gentleman of leisure. Then maybe. No! Won't be sucked in.
You get the idea.
I will remain strong, hips or no hips.
This is starting to remind me of the reason I'm in hiding from Shakira videos. My greatest fear is, I will start to take this whole thing seriously. Don't let me do it, guys, not if you care for me at all.
Must.Not.Take.SDBs. Seriously.
I refuse to let my emotions sway at the whims of MTV.
and then there was this:
~
WARNING! There is no sex of any kind in the following snippet. Read at your own risk.
A Burble in Time
by sexygoatbilly
Every time Justin fakes it, he looks over at his friend and sees how it really is.
JC is making a fool of himself again, and he doesn’t even realize it. Justin has rescued him many times, but he won’t do it tonight. It’s his way of showing respect. The reporter Jayce is talking to is wearing a haughty little half-smile, as if he were somehow uncovering forbidden secrets. The guy also looks a little turned on, like most people do even when they are sneering at JC. Justin thinks it’s something to do with pheromones, the effect C has on everyone who gets closer than three feet.
Justin knows he can turn a crowd rabid at fifty paces, but even he isn’t immune to JC’s one-on-one charm. It can get a little overwhelming, especially for a man used to thinking of himself as straight. It’s almost gotten JC beaten a few times. Men who deal with C often look for reasons to mock him, trying for distance. His emotional rawness makes them all too easy to find, most of all when he speaks about any form of art.
JC will say things that are usually only said by the pretentious, like when he talks about having a nose for wines, or loving modern art, or what led him to the industry. What’s amazing is that JC means every thing he is saying, about music, about why he’s doing what he’s doing. Justin means what he says, too, but he has too much control over his speech to ever come off so badly. JC means it more, and he looks like an ass.
What Justin can’t figure out is why JC does it, and how he can go on being so emotional publically without breaking down. Justin is always attuned to the atmosphere in a crowd. He can’t *not* notice when he says something that is taken badly. He doesn’t always care, but he always notices. JC always cares, but it’s as if there is so much in his expressions that there is no room for immediate feedback to penetrate.
If Justin is honest, he’d have to admit that he hasn’t figured JC out at all, in spite of all their years as bandmates. It’s a little irritating, and he would like to believe that one day soon he’ll crack the mystery, wrap up C and his motivations in a box labelled “done” and not care anymore. Instead he’s trapped in this strange cycle of curiosity and frustration. They don’t fight, exactly, but when Justin sees pictures of the two of them together he is bothered by his own expression. Brows beetled, almost hostile, he looks at JC like he doesn’t like him.
And he doesn’t, exactly. Which is *very* weird, since Justin likes just about everyone he meets. He never really has liked JC. JC is like a loose tooth that never falls out, and won’t stop aching. Except when they are singing together, and Justin gets a sensation that is akin to ecstasy.
He doesn’t really like ecstasy, either.
But he can’t resist a mystery, in the way that JC never really challenges him but is always his rival. Or the way they have nothing in common except everything they care for most. Or how JC is ridiculous and yet more real than anyone else Justin knows, utterly talented and yet capable of the worst mistakes.
Sexier and sometimes more lovable than anyone else Justin has ever met, and yet so damn lonely.
Justin knows all about timing, and he never leaves a challenge alone forever. A solo career will take all his attention for awhile, but he knows that he has a mystery to solve. He doesn’t really like JC, and he thinks sometimes JC doesn’t like him. The feelings have another name he knows he will eventually discover.
It’s just a matter of time.
~
"Fare ye well wherever ye fare, and may your eyries receive you at your journey's end."
-tolkien
It is the gayest film that ever claimed to be straight.
Everything about the relationship between Withnail and "I" (played by the young, lovely Paul McGann), is reflective of a relationship between lovers. Except of course, it isn't, and they aren't. At least, not actually sleeping together. Or well, they do sleep together, but they don't have sex.
I watch the film as a drama, the story of "I", loving and leaving the alcoholic Withnail. And Withnail, hopelessly in love with a man who claims vehemently that he is "not a homosexual" in spite of the intense nature of their connection.
Others apparently think of it as a comedy.
Tomato, tomahto.
Elsewhere in the news, I am having a terrific internal battle over the youngest sdb. Not a fan, not a fan. Hate the parking lot. Refusing to be sucked in. Unless you promise to use your ill-gotten gains to make JC a gentleman of leisure. Then maybe. No! Won't be sucked in.
You get the idea.
I will remain strong, hips or no hips.
This is starting to remind me of the reason I'm in hiding from Shakira videos. My greatest fear is, I will start to take this whole thing seriously. Don't let me do it, guys, not if you care for me at all.
Must.Not.Take.SDBs. Seriously.
I refuse to let my emotions sway at the whims of MTV.
and then there was this:
~
WARNING! There is no sex of any kind in the following snippet. Read at your own risk.
A Burble in Time
by sexygoatbilly
Every time Justin fakes it, he looks over at his friend and sees how it really is.
JC is making a fool of himself again, and he doesn’t even realize it. Justin has rescued him many times, but he won’t do it tonight. It’s his way of showing respect. The reporter Jayce is talking to is wearing a haughty little half-smile, as if he were somehow uncovering forbidden secrets. The guy also looks a little turned on, like most people do even when they are sneering at JC. Justin thinks it’s something to do with pheromones, the effect C has on everyone who gets closer than three feet.
Justin knows he can turn a crowd rabid at fifty paces, but even he isn’t immune to JC’s one-on-one charm. It can get a little overwhelming, especially for a man used to thinking of himself as straight. It’s almost gotten JC beaten a few times. Men who deal with C often look for reasons to mock him, trying for distance. His emotional rawness makes them all too easy to find, most of all when he speaks about any form of art.
JC will say things that are usually only said by the pretentious, like when he talks about having a nose for wines, or loving modern art, or what led him to the industry. What’s amazing is that JC means every thing he is saying, about music, about why he’s doing what he’s doing. Justin means what he says, too, but he has too much control over his speech to ever come off so badly. JC means it more, and he looks like an ass.
What Justin can’t figure out is why JC does it, and how he can go on being so emotional publically without breaking down. Justin is always attuned to the atmosphere in a crowd. He can’t *not* notice when he says something that is taken badly. He doesn’t always care, but he always notices. JC always cares, but it’s as if there is so much in his expressions that there is no room for immediate feedback to penetrate.
If Justin is honest, he’d have to admit that he hasn’t figured JC out at all, in spite of all their years as bandmates. It’s a little irritating, and he would like to believe that one day soon he’ll crack the mystery, wrap up C and his motivations in a box labelled “done” and not care anymore. Instead he’s trapped in this strange cycle of curiosity and frustration. They don’t fight, exactly, but when Justin sees pictures of the two of them together he is bothered by his own expression. Brows beetled, almost hostile, he looks at JC like he doesn’t like him.
And he doesn’t, exactly. Which is *very* weird, since Justin likes just about everyone he meets. He never really has liked JC. JC is like a loose tooth that never falls out, and won’t stop aching. Except when they are singing together, and Justin gets a sensation that is akin to ecstasy.
He doesn’t really like ecstasy, either.
But he can’t resist a mystery, in the way that JC never really challenges him but is always his rival. Or the way they have nothing in common except everything they care for most. Or how JC is ridiculous and yet more real than anyone else Justin knows, utterly talented and yet capable of the worst mistakes.
Sexier and sometimes more lovable than anyone else Justin has ever met, and yet so damn lonely.
Justin knows all about timing, and he never leaves a challenge alone forever. A solo career will take all his attention for awhile, but he knows that he has a mystery to solve. He doesn’t really like JC, and he thinks sometimes JC doesn’t like him. The feelings have another name he knows he will eventually discover.
It’s just a matter of time.
~
"Fare ye well wherever ye fare, and may your eyries receive you at your journey's end."
-tolkien
