My Chemical Romance Contains Less Transfats Than Doritos

[stungunbilly]

And, okay. I'm going to actually cut for this one, because of my growing sense of basic decency. Or something.

MORE THINGS I LEARNED IN BANDOM TODAY WITH MCR or: HOW FRANK IERO BEAT THE ODDS AND PACKED 7 FEET OF AMAZING INTO A PACKAGE ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF AN EXTRA-LARGE LATTE

 

• I thought, at first, that it was going to be Mikey Way for me. He was hiding in the corner! The glasses, the careful manner in which he disguises the fact that he is incredibly handsome, and the completely stupid hair make me silly all over. He has no shame about kickball. He poses for photos with Pete looking like the brainy nerd-girl who is dating the local scene hero. But Mikey Way is sweet and sad and lovely, and I like him so much, yet it’s not Mikey.
• Then I thought it was going to be Mikey's brother  Gerard. He’s clever and needy and draws like E. Gorey on painkillers. The painful, bitter, child-like quality of his voice and his sense of theatre would draw me in, or maybe the big eyes and desperation would be magnetic. He plays Warhammer with Patrick! He tells young women to spit in the faces of guys trying to exploit them! And he’s compelling, but it’s not Gerard Way.
• Bob Bryar sucker punched me. He’s so desperately in need of someone to save him from his band, and I’m not even kidding. He gave up his regular job, and he’s almost died. He’s been burned and injured and leaped on by a crazed guitar-monkey. He looks like a kid when he shaves, and a bear when he doesn’t. Cameras make him sound silly, unless they trick him into speaking while unaware of the audience. When he had no time to practice, he played in the Helena video without it and made it work. He loves Mr. Bean! But it isn’t Bob.
• And so I watched Life on the Murder Scene, and Ray Toro’s youthful enthusiasm and workhorse/guitar hero mentality swept me away. I love some of his favorite bands, and now I know exactly why I recognize much of what the band is doing. They don’t sound particularly original to me, because Mr. Toro and I both loved a lot of the same guitarists, but they sound solid. Ray is so willing. He’s there working at his craft all the time, and I think the band will go far and for a long time if they don’t blow up, because Ray will never stop going forward on music, improving all the time. He really loves music. And it’s not Ray, all the same.
• I didn’t think it could possibly be Frank, of course it couldn’t be. Frank with his ridiculous licking and wtf blond dreads (in that one video; the guy can't keep a hairstyle), over-hyper dude who can’t control his urge to doodle all over his own skin. The same kid who felt compelled to kick his bandmate right in the nuts during a show. Sure, he has a pretty face, but it’s all perfect bone structure and symmetry, nothing particularly fascinating (I thought). And who leaps on their drummer’s kit during a set? Stage gay, sure, but was he just a poser? So, I was pretty sure it wasn’t Frank.
• Only, he always came off lucid and interesting, yet down-to-earth in interviews. Kind of sweet. Sunny. He may dress and color his flesh and rock out like a dangerous creature, but when he speaks, he’s got kind words for his band mates, love for his family, obviously genuine humility, and respect for his fans. He’s funny.
• And okay, knocking over your drummer’s kit during a TRL show is actually pretty punk rock, plus some of the tats are pretty fine.
• Then I watched him on the concert vids for a while. And he’s, whoa. He’s exploding with energy and lithe grace and sheer athleticism, and he’s completely fearless. He steps right up with what he’s got to offer, and holds back nothing.
• And he’s not really just pretty, is he? His look is always evolving, and he’s fearless there, too. He’s all bone and sinew and muscle in tiny, perfect proportion. He’s beautiful.
• But the killer is, that while rolling around spilling sweat all over the stage and his band mates and the universe in general, he’s playing some sweet guitar. Sharp, and tight, and spare, and bright, laid over Mikey and Bob’s steady foundation and Ray’s expressive tapestry, his music sounds kind of like Frank. And it’s awesome.
• So, it isn’t Mikey, and it isn’t Gerard Way, and it’s not Bob or Ray or hey, Brian. Although, it’s them too, because they’re all intriguing and part of it, it may be them later, but. They can’t be the ones to drag me into compulsive My Chemical Romance fandom. It isn’t them.
• Because it’s Frank.