the stars like dust

The Wentz has done the deed. Not surprising, somehow. I hope they are happy and healthy and boring, for their sakes, and if they aren't it'll be interesting grist for some mill somewhere, undoubtedly. Good luck, Wentz!

My favorite bit of fan fiction dealing with the wedding is the mild non-story story of Ryan Ross and the topiary, found here. linzeems is a funny person. And possibly was hiding in the bushes, or inside Ryan's man-purse.

In the less bandomy portion of today's news, Flight of the Conchords is quite hilarious and also very slashy, and may well be at least somewhat about us.

I've been especially vagabondish lately, faithful to no fandom at all, even Jack Harkness. In fact, for the first time in close to a decade, I'm not primarily in fannish things when online. It's kind of weird, and I don't expect it to last. Not a single impulse to craft a story or write, and that's particularly weird, although I've been feeling creative about decorating and, of all things, my clothes. I'm not generally one of the world's shoppers, but anyone can have a weird month.

What I'm finding myself doing in my online time is following -ism debates, researching health and body image issues, and reading meta and the comprehensive text w/links of various kefuffles with an eye to sociological analysis. I'm just as into it as I usually am into fannish materials, which is really weird.

This sort of thing has happened before, and it will most likely pass quickly, but I'm going with it because I always use my leisure time for things that stimulate me.

I have been watching more tv than usual, but not much.

Here are some of the shows/books/comics I've been reading/listening to/watching:

• La Femme Nikita. Just the first few eps so far, and I'm enjoying it far more than I expected to. I really like Nikita, and want to read femmeslash about her if I can find the right pairing. This may not last, as the larger picture of the show is creepily authoritarian in many ways and also sexist and just plain irritating with the giant plot holes. But I like Nikita. I kind of want her to end up wiping out the unit and escaping to become a librarian or something in another country. Or maybe a travelling musician as part of a band.
  
• Hellblazer. Oh, John Constantine.
  
• Jennifer Crusie. Not my thing, clearly. She makes me cringe a lot.
  
• Philip Pullman. Cool, intriguing ideas, interesting characters, lucid prose, dynamic storytelling. Obnoxiously elitist, but I can take it.
  
• Weeds. Hmm. I really enjoy some elements, but there is a lot that pushes me past interested into very uncomfortable, and it isn't the main plot. Not ready to form a solid opinion yet.
  
• This interesting article on wearing shoes vs. going barefoot: "You Walk Wrong".
  
• The infamous Boob Project and fallout. What an absolutely abhorrent social context  and verbal category screwup. I was deeply concerned at how this would affect con culture and the safety and happiness of fans. But the many, many intelligent analyses and responses from especially women but also men made me feel much better.  I wish we could have spared his use of the term "Open Source", however, since I consider the Open Source software development concept to be one of the best social and intellectual movements of the last twenty years. 
• Various kerfuffles (you all know which ones). I will say here, however, that it is "kerfuffle", not "kerfluffle", and though a thousand errors should change that in the lexicon, to me it shall always be wrong. Oh, and furthermore? "Nonplussed" means "surprised and confused". Not "unruffled". Here endeth the lesson.
  
• Posts on race in bandom. Yeah, we always need a little improvement. Reminders help keep me conscious.
• The Fatosphere. So intriguing! Fat people rock.
• Craft/food/stuff books.
• Science! I love science, like a Rodney loves cake. Lately it's been Cosmos with Carl Sagan. Such an awesome ubergeek guy.
• Avatar. You'll be shocked to know it's about the One Boy Who Can Save the World. It's also funny and cute and has nice artwork. I also like all of the characters. The fight animation is pretty sweet, too.

I've also been running about outside a lot. And I have a new bike, which I adore passionately and may write object slash about at some point.

So, how's by you?

I've been all but completely absent for the last, oh, month or so. I have actually spent very (relatively) little time online, and what time I did spend was primarily reading Torchwood/Who fiction or making sure everyone on the flist was still ticking along. I left a bunch of unfinished projects in the dust (sorry rue_quercus!), and yet though I feel regretful of flakiness, it was still mostly a good thing.

Rediscovering the world of exercise has been fantastic. Having pulled a muscle in my abdominal wall around the end of October '07, I was unable to do any kind of workout for MONTHS. I still had to work and keep up my home, but all of it was very painful and rather aggravating to do. But finally in early Feb. the doctor gave me the green light to start walking and dancing and etc. again.

It was none too soon, as I'd been packing on weight and feeling horrible. That wasn't all bad, though, because it led me to interest in the Health at Every Size movement, also known as the Fat Acceptance movement (thank you flisters who linked!). It has been a revelation. What time I had online these last two weeks has been spent reading up on fat issues and the CDC and it's current (Bush-appointed! What a shock.) head, who not only mis-represents her research results but outright lies about statistics. (There is a big difference between 25,000 deaths and 400,000 in a year, wouldn't you agree? The AMA actually debunked her, but strangely enough the headlines show no sign of that happening.)

It's been strange, working out and eating carefully to regrow muscle and get fit again, and simultaneously getting more comfortable with weight gain and learning to forgive my body it's vulnerabilities. Kate Harding at Shapely Prose is a hero to me. The SO has been working out and listening sweetly to the whole FA/HAES enthusiasm, too. I think there was a little relief that I had found something besides Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump, or Captain Jack Harkness to talk about.

So here I've been walking and dancing, buying fitting clothes (thanks again, HAES people!) and getting interested in cooking for both taste and nutrition again. Now I'm intrigued by yoga, and thinking seriously about joining a gym. Mostly I like to get my exercise outdoors or at home where it's convenient and less evitable, but it would be nice to have access to machines.

Anyone a member at a gym? What franchise? What do you like and/or hate about it? Do you use the membership enough to make it worthwhile?

Dear Bandom,

It's not you, it's me.

Well, okay, it's partly you. I mean, sometimes you scare me silly. I like to believe you'd never beat me, but I've seen the bruises on some of your old flames, so...

But it's not about that. It's... This is harder to say than I thought it would be.

I've met someone else.

Don't get me wrong! I'm not LEAVING you. For every secret hate meme, you've got a Patrick Stump, a Frank Iero, or a Jamia Nestor. Sometimes you make me twist inside with tenderness, even while I'm squirming over another embarrassing thing you've said. You're in my heart, now.

It's just, I haven't felt this way in so long. I keep finding myself staying up late at night, thinking about this other fandom. It's bright and wonderful, heroic in unexpected ways, and it calls to every part of me. I knew I'd get along with it, but I never thought I'd be this swept away.

I know it'll never really love me back completely, but three little words can make me forget that. Three little words that mean adventure, and excitement, and all the riches of the universe. So I still care about you, bandom, I still want to be with you, it's just.

Captain Jack Harkness.

I know you'll understand.

Be Back before I Left (Probably),
stungunbilly

Because they gave me weekends.

I was a zombie all week, and last night my system flipped me the bird, around 6PM, and crashed until around noon today. Now I feel human again! It's marvelous. I almost forgot I normally am a pretty energetic person.

I'm so far behind on replies and email and the flist, so I apologize to anyone and everyone to whom I owe a response. First thing I have to do is clean my home, so that the SO doesn't: A. Run away which, no or B. think we live in a cave and it's okay to leave detritus where it falls. I'm holding myself to a really mellow standard, though, so I don't fail to have some time for the important things, like writing and reading about writing (which I never before had any urge to do, what do you know) and also trying to catch up just a little.

If I spend a little time defeating the Naughty Sorceress in the Kingdom of Loathing, who is to judge?

Apparently I have lost my mind. Having escaped the vicissitudes of academia once, I am actually, willingly considering returning to it. Meep.

My transcripts are a mess, I went to a university which didn't generally give letter grades at the time, and who knows if I'll even get in? Not me. Especially since I'm practically having a panic attack just reading through the application forms. Joining a band is looking better and better.

I plan to give it a shot, though. That Masters is looking pretty good professionally, and I have hopefully learned a thing or two since my undergraduate days. I'm certainly going to find attendance easier, since I'll be taking most of my classes online (hopefully.) That is, of course, if I get accepted. I wonder if lying down and begging them to only look at my first 200 course units will work?

How does one explain to a board of judgy judgers that, yes, one was stricken by what one later recognized as serious depression for the last few years of college life, but one is generally a good egg and valuable student? And that the combination of "not turned in", "poor attendance", and "excellent understanding and analysis" is actually a triumph of the human spirit?

I'll set up an aca-filter if it looks like I'll need to break down in tears on the internet frequently.

Wish me luck.

I had a stressful Wednesday, and wrote this during my lunch. It is what it is.

Disclaimer:
The following piece of short fiction isn't an actual story, more a short set of mutually-related ideas. It's also very much not true. Please skip it if it's about you.

Oh, and for anyone who doesn't already know, this is Ryan Ross. He's the guitarist for Panic! at the Disco, and he writes the lyrics. Brendon Urie is the lead singer. He can play several instruments as well. Aren't they pretty? The other two guys in the band are the drummer, Spencer Smith, and the new bassist, Jon Walker. This is Ryan's cult.

1. ethrosdemon has posted a picture of Brendon "Big Poppa" Urie in the shower, wet, with another boy. It's beautiful. NON PRE-BANDOM FOLKS GO LOOK. I SWEAR IT WON'T INFECT YOU AND IT'S PRETTY.

2. The Kingdom of Loathing. An adventurer is you! (and me, because I SO RULE THIS GAME. I just took down the Filthworm Queen in one swift and sure blow.) AuK, was it you who first set me on this path? I think it might have been. If so, I thank you. This is the ultimate game for text-people who like stick figure graphics and silly yet funny Gen X &Y jokes. Every day it reaffirms my geekitude.

3. The Brotherhood II. Wow. I have this to say about it:





SEKRIT NOTE: Yes, I have been drinking caffeinated beverages again. Oops.
Oh, and rue_quercus: Thinking about writing the Black Parade thing seriously. More ideas welcome.

Okay, finally trying to place everything in one convenient location. This was written eons ago for one of oxoniensis' challenges, and largely because foxmonkey is so lovely.

Anyone around for a beta? I've got a draft of one possible version of the Frank/Patrick story.