We Say of Elves...

Since cesperanza has posted the shamefully fun Inappropriate Elves Elves Elves here , I find myself with this question in mind-
In your favorite fandom, who is the MOST likely to be an elf? And who the LEAST?

I'll begin. Since I have about six hundred fandoms, I'll choose Firefly with an option to do this again later.

FIREFLY
Most Likely to Be an Elf: River/Simon (siblings, y'know).
Least Likely to Be an Elf: Jayne. With the Grunting, and all.

Ooh, that was fun. Anyone?

Have You Ever-

Thought you were open-minded on a subject and discovered, painfully, that you were not?

I tried to read a Harry/Ron story, and just found out that I couldn't.
Just. Plain. Couldn't.

Which, by my standards, is all wrong.

Stories aren't, for me, straight lines with beginning/middle/ends. They are tree trunks that branch out into many possible, co-existent ends. They are fractals, infinitely variable versions of coherent yet random patterns.

Theoretically, Harry/Ron should work. There is canonical justification, they like each other, and in fact they hit one of my kinks; best friend sex. But!

No. Not for me, apparently.

This is so disturbing...

::retreats to Andean cave for meditation::