the stars like dust

Gender and sexuality are issues that will never be completely simple, I realize this.

But almost every time I watch or read some well-meaning exploration of the subject on mainstream media, I get all kinds of frustrated. The Barbara Walters series on transgender children leaves me feeling alienated and depressed; I'm enthusiastic at the idea of transgendered people getting to be less mysterious and frightening to the general public, naturally, but! In the very beginning of the first part, Barbara basically reiterates all of the stereotypes about boys and girls that make me cry a lot, and maybe shout a little. I'm perfectly at ease with anybody wanting to identify with the Standard American Boy or Standard American Girl if it makes them happier. I realize that some of us have strict feelings about what that means and can't help our identifications; go them for expressing their inner selves openly. But not all of us agree with or want to conform to any set of characteristics in order to be who we are.
 
So, to make me feel better, here is a list.

stungunbilly's 10 comments on gender  for a new generation a vibrant sexual economy the sake of sanity

1. To the best of my knowledge, the colors pink and blue have no actual relationship to human sexual biology that has ever been proven scientifically. Except I think someone once claimed that male humans respond more favorably to images of female humans wearing blue.
2. Running around, jumping, climbing trees, and other typical ape family behaviors are things that all physically active, healthy children can and will do unless constrained by adults or social pressure.
   
3. Dresses and pants are neither masculine nor feminine in their essential nature. Additionally, throughout history the typical gendered garments of both sexes have varied greatly, with men often wearing what we would call dresses as a normal behavior.
4. Most actual biological differences between the sexes occur over a range of subjects, meaning that almost all human qualities appear to some degree or other in both sexes.
   
5. It is quite possible to be emotionally open, nurturing, gentle, and completely self-identified as masculine, regardless of one's biological sex. Even fashion-conscious! Who knew.
   
6. Conversely, it is quite possible to be outgoing, assertive, physically active, prefer trousers to skirts, hate makeup and fashion and shopping too, and completely identified as feminine, also regardless of one's biological sex.
7. Most mammals (including humans), when raised with tenderness, like cuddling. Not all. It doesn't require a specific gender identity.
   
8. A specific society's notion of gender is bound to violate many rules of gender in any other society, some of which will commonly be thought to be completely "natural".
9. Some ancient Asian women used to try to look, in various ways, like cows, which were examples of beauty to their people. No one has ever told me if the men tried to look like bulls.
   
10. Beauty is in the mind of the beholder.