My John Sheppard

[stungunbilly]

cesperanza is responsible for an interesting discussion of Joe "The Flan" Flanigan's acting and its effects on the character of John  Sheppard here.

It reminded me of just how flexible in interpretation John Sheppard really is, and I suspect we have The Flan's disconnect from the dramatic opportunities and the genre to thank for this. I've never warmed up to Cameron Mitchell, and I think part of the reason for that is that Ben plays his similar character so much more connectedly. I suspect I just don't *like* the standard SciFi Network hero, and Sheppard's quirkiness and just *weirdness* makes me like him so much more. When Cameron makes comments about the Asgard, I think he's a bigoted jerk. When Sheppard does, I think he's a complete dork, and watching him whisper about it to Rodney makes me a little fond of him.

He doesn't always strike the right note, and that makes him a lot more interesting. He often doesn't seem particularly genuine, which says to me that there is a whole Sheppard under the surface that we don't get to see directly, and so I'm going to try to put into words one version of who John Sheppard might be.

My John Sheppard:

• Is very good at forming acquaintances, and very poor at forming lasting friendships.
  
• Has found more of a family on Atlantis than he has ever had before, and isn't completely aware of this. Or completely unaware.
• Is gay, but has been in denial his entire life. And barring some major incident, will continue to be.
  
• Has an incredibly elaborate system of denial, the stronger for his extremely high intelligence.
• Dislikes being touched by strangers except sexually and actually, even then. Though he is always surprised by this.
• Doesn't know that a part of Teyla's draw for him is that she is, in many ways, who he really wants to be.
• Loves his team more than he has ever loved anyone else in his life. All four of them, including Ford.
• Looks to Elizabeth for some of the mothering he missed, but doesn't know that.
• Is pretty emotionally disconnected, most of the time. Which makes his job a lot easier.
• Will at some point have an emotional reconnection that might make him temporarily crazy. Or suicidal.
• Isn't actually particularly suicidal, usually, but feels little fear. So when his new family is in danger, or a friend, his desire to protect them is stronger than his, relatively weak, feelings of fear. This is a man whose ideas of things often are stronger than his felt emotions about them, too, so he would die for a child, for instance, because he believes men should be willing to do that. Even if he didn't know the child.
  
• Isn't all that brave, actually, because of the above. He doesn't have to overcome much fear.
  
• Won't know how to handle stronger feelings when his growing connection to his social milieu draws them out of him.
• Would be incredibly jealous of any serious partner, to the point of possible violence.
• Doesn't have any idea about the above, and would be appalled.
• Is used to being more intelligent and having better plans than anyone around him.
  
• Has been continually shocked by the intelligence of the people around him in Atlantis.
  
• Always thought he wanted to work with people as smart or smarter than he is. Now isn't so sure.
  
• Doesn't really know what to do with Ronon's intense loyalty. It creeps him out, while also making him feel pretty cool.
  
• Honestly thought his reaction to Ronon was about admiration for fighting skills.
• Thinks and talks about Rodney way too much for the person he tries to be, but doesn't know that.
• Really wants Zelenka for a friend, but is a little intimidated by the brains and annoyed by the timidity.
• Secretly thinks of himself as Han Solo.
• Is afraid he is really Luke.
• Unusually for a guy, is a very visceral person. Has modes of thinking and communication that are more typical of women than men.
• Can always tell when others are attracted to other people, but not when they are attracted to him.
• Flirts mostly for social connections and to be accepted, not because he's pursuing sexual liasons. Flirts with men almost as much as with women.
• Is more comfortable with women than with men.
• Doesn't know he is Elizabeth's best friend.
• Is a truly brilliant tactical thinker.
• Learned to like football in self-defense.
• Really does absolutely love the visceral thrill of high speeds.
  
• Is capable of having huge amounts of fun, and would make an excellent companion on a surfing adventure.
  
• Is immensely hungry for love, which is going to lead to a real freakout when some love starts to penetrate his shell.
• Privately obsesses over Rodney's open emotional expressions.  Derides, is attracted by, is repelled by, admires, and envies them.
• Likes people a lot, but is still a misanthropist.
• Can remain very positive and goal-oriented because of the emotional detachment.
• Has never thoroughly learned to deal with intense emotions except by detaching.
• Was primarily an object to his father, who was very proud of him but distant.
• Was too much of an emotional anchor for his mother, who was isolated by his father's work.

Wow, I could really go on about that a lot.
But, that'll do for now.
I'm glad there are so many different Sheppards around. If the show pins him down, some of them will fade, and I'll miss them. Yay for The Flan's ambiguity!