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All of you know I don't write SG:A, right?
Okay.
So, if I did, here's the story I would write for the virgin challenge over at the sga flashfic journal. It was of course inspired by Speranza's story, which I'm not linking because you've either read it/are about to read it or hate John/Rodney, virgins, alien rituals, or all three. Anyway! Here's what I'd write.
Incredibly advanced aliens have developed this awesome space ship with beaming technology, a virtual deck, diagnostic/healing chamber, and full bar. They did this because they were rescued from the Wraith by the Ancestors, given a safe haven via experimental shield technology, and taught cool science as a sort of brain trust colony. And told to build a ship.
In the ten thousand years they've been waiting for someone with the Ancient gene to show up, they've gotten a bit religious, and come up with some odd ideas about Ancients. So they won't share most of the goods with Atlantis, but they have made the space ship as per the instructions left by their mentors. Obviously they're ready to hand the ship over to John, with his handy-dandy ability to light up the town, but there's a catch: they expected him to be a virgin. He, well, isn't.
But no problem! Amongst their other accomplishments (static-free dryers, genuinely healthy and flavorful yet delicious snack foods, instantaneous wart removers, personal levitators) they've developed the Timespace Transverser, which John comes to know as the Cosmic Cockblocker. Because they can (and do!) send an agent into Earth's past at various points, and his mission? To effectively prevent John Sheppard from getting laid.
The agent pops into the machine, there is a whirring, he comes back out, and Sheppard? Is as pure as the driven snow. The poor bastard.
Rodney rather likes the planet, as he now has a viable way to explain his own lack of frequent action. And also because he gets to de-virginify John Sheppard on a brand new ship which they don't have to return to anyone. He still doesn't get to name it, though.
Okay.
So, if I did, here's the story I would write for the virgin challenge over at the sga flashfic journal. It was of course inspired by Speranza's story, which I'm not linking because you've either read it/are about to read it or hate John/Rodney, virgins, alien rituals, or all three. Anyway! Here's what I'd write.
Incredibly advanced aliens have developed this awesome space ship with beaming technology, a virtual deck, diagnostic/healing chamber, and full bar. They did this because they were rescued from the Wraith by the Ancestors, given a safe haven via experimental shield technology, and taught cool science as a sort of brain trust colony. And told to build a ship.
In the ten thousand years they've been waiting for someone with the Ancient gene to show up, they've gotten a bit religious, and come up with some odd ideas about Ancients. So they won't share most of the goods with Atlantis, but they have made the space ship as per the instructions left by their mentors. Obviously they're ready to hand the ship over to John, with his handy-dandy ability to light up the town, but there's a catch: they expected him to be a virgin. He, well, isn't.
But no problem! Amongst their other accomplishments (static-free dryers, genuinely healthy and flavorful yet delicious snack foods, instantaneous wart removers, personal levitators) they've developed the Timespace Transverser, which John comes to know as the Cosmic Cockblocker. Because they can (and do!) send an agent into Earth's past at various points, and his mission? To effectively prevent John Sheppard from getting laid.
The agent pops into the machine, there is a whirring, he comes back out, and Sheppard? Is as pure as the driven snow. The poor bastard.
Rodney rather likes the planet, as he now has a viable way to explain his own lack of frequent action. And also because he gets to de-virginify John Sheppard on a brand new ship which they don't have to return to anyone. He still doesn't get to name it, though.
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